Caillou: The Devil's Pawn
by Donunttakemeserious
Summary: After the events of "Caillou's Safety Rules" Caillou finds himself in Hell.
1. Sympathy For The Devil

Sympathy for the Devil

"WAAAAAHH! I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE!" cried Caillou

"I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANNA, I DON'T WANNA!" continued Caillou

"GOD DAMN IT COULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP?" shout The Devil

The Devil was frustrated...he just wanted someone nice to keep him company, his intention was to take Rosie down to hell so she could keep him company because he found Rosie to be a very sweet little girl, or even Gilbert because he's quite fond of small animals, but instead he captured his worst nightmare...Caillou the most annoying, whiny little tard to ever walk Planet Earth. This made the Devil very, very upset. _Could you blame him?_

And once the Devil has taken a living being down to Hell, that person's soul is bound to hell, and can never released. Of course they can go into the world of living but the soul will always return back to Hell. The Devil knew these rules and has regreted his actions the moment he heard Caillou's voice. This made the Devil very, very sad.

"I WANNA GO HOME!" screamed Caillou

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!" yelled The Devil

The Devil swung his firey arm at Caillou...Caillou was instantly killed, BUT his body and soul immediately reformed. The Devil was stunned by this discovery, he knew Caillou wouldn't stay dead, but normally it would take a couple of days for a being to reform in Hell. The Devil began to weep uncontrollably.

"What's wrong?" asked Caillou

"I gonna be stuck with you forever" cried The Devil

"Huh why is that bad?" asked Caillou

"BECAUSE YOU'RE AN ANNOYING SHIT-STAIN THAT CAN NEVER GET AWAY FROM NOW ON" yelled The Devil

"Do be sad, I just thought of a song we could sing...it goes like this...I'm just a kid who's four,

Each day I grow some more!

I like exploring, I'm Caillou

So many things to do,

Each day there's something new

I'll share them with you

I'm Caillou

My world is turning, changing each day!

With mommy and daddy and finding my way-

Growing up is not so tough

Except when I've had enough

But there's lots of fun stuff

I'm Caillou, Caillou, Caillou...

(And me, and me, and me!)" sung Caillou annoyingly

"RRAAAAAAHHHHH!" cried The Devil

The Devil once again killed Caillou...

And so began a very strange relationship.

Fin


	2. El Diablo's Plan

El Diablo's Plan

The Devil is at his wit's end. He doesn't know what to do with the annoying pest that he mistakeningly captured over a day ago. Although Caillou's presences has only been in Hell for a couple hours his annoyance has caused the Sinners of Hell so much grief that many of them have dove into the Lake of Fire just to escape his voice, while others have begged Reapers to take them to Heaven or Purgatory. All have grown tired of his voice, including the Devil, and have decide to call a meeting to rid of this terror.

"PLEASEEE! WE HAVE TO GET RID OF HIM!" cried demons in anguish

"BUT HOW?" yelled other demons

Many of the demons argued over the issue, while others were just screaming in anguish. Meanwhile the Devil himself was forming up an idea that just might work.

"Silence" commanded the Devil

"I've thought of an idea...I will make that monster into my assistant and send him onto the world of the mortals, so that he'll spend most of his time amongst them causing havoc while I formulate a plan to banish him for good!" declared the Devil

The crowd cheered with glee, until...

"Hi everybody!" yelled Caillou

All of the demons that were gathered scattered like roaches when the lights turn on.

"Why did they all run away? Do they want to hear me sing my song? I'm just a kid who's four..." said Caillou

"STOP!" shouted the Devil

"How would you like to mommy and daddy again?" asked the Devil

"I'd love too!" shouted Caillou

"Ok come here...retsnom desruc enogeb!" chanted the Devi

Caillou was engulfed in flames...and awakened in front of his house.

I'm home

Fin


	3. Homecoming

Homecoming

"I'm home..." thought Caillou to himself as he manifested in front of his home.

"YEAH! I'M HOME! I'M HOME! I'M HOME! I'M HOME!" shouted Caillou in a very annoying level of volume.

"My God it's has returned... Usquequo patiemur Deus?" said Daddy

"Et reversus est malum?" asked Mommy

"Etiam" responded Daddy

"Quid feci tibi iram Dei? Dum pati necesse sit? Quare ergo despicit nos?" asked Mommy

"Noli timere, mater peperit onus interficiens ego prodigium. Pro vobis Patrem, Rosie in Gilbertum mihi Semen Cain ..." replied Rexy the Toy Dinosaur

Rexy the Toy Dinosaur jumped down from the window to face Caillou face to face.

"Semen Cain... Nam bonum quod est humanitas, YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" declared Rexy

"Why the fuck were we speaking Latin?" asked Rosie

"Je ne sais pas" replied Daddy

"Я тоже не знаю" replied Mommy

"Ok, will Rexy beat Caillou?" asked Rosie

"It looks grim" replied Gilbert

"Master Gilbert" replied Daddy

"I've trained all of you well...but Caillou power is still overwhelmingly strong compared our own. His demonic powers have become destructive but his ability to annoy the masses have almost reached a godly level. If Rexy is to fail we must not panic, we'll accept Caillou into the house and try kill him by sneak attacks, we must let him know of our plan. I will start training the other toys to aid in our defense, if Rexy survives heal him, will need him. Please Rexy...be safe my friend" said Master Gilbert

"REXY!" shouted Caillou

Caillou skips towards Rexy in a very annoying manner.

"The lord is my strength and my shield...DINO-FIRE BLAST!" shouted Rexy the Toy Dinosaur

Rexy attacked with a gigantic fire ball that spewed from his mouth, and with great speed it hit Caillou. The impact of the attack caused a great explosion, afterwards smoke and ash covered the driveway.

"Did I get him?" asked Rexy

"_I'm just a kid who's four, each day I grow so more, I like exploring I'm Caill-..."_

"DIE! GREAT ANCIENT FLAME!" shouted Rexy with panic

Rexy attacked with an even larger fire spell.

The smoke cleared...

"_I'm Caillou"_ sang Caillou in a demonic voice

Rexy's body began to tighten, the sides of his body began to be crushed. Rexy began to gasp for air but then the dumbass realized that he was a toy and didn't need to breathe. Meanwhile Leo was jacking-off in his room, but that nothing to do with the story. Caillou proceed to use his psychic-demonic powers to bash Rexy repeatedly on to the concrete driveway. Rexy was defeated after the 23 slam on to the driveway, the impacts created major damage to the ground.

"I'm home" said Caillou


	4. Attack On Caillou: The Offensive Begins

Attack On Caillou: The Offensive Begins

Rexy the Toy Dinosaur was defeated, he laid in smoldering cater of shame on the driveway, but everyone couldn't focus on Rexy's defeated as they had to prepare for the next battle. Mommy and Daddy holding in there urge to kill Caillou on sight, greeted the nuisance at the front door.

"Hi Mommy! Hi Daddy!" said Caillou annoyingly

"Caillou how nice of you to come back..." said Mommy sarcastically

"So...how've you been Caillou?" asked Daddy with dread in his voice

"I WAS SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SCARED! BUT NOW I'M BETTER! I COULD JUST SING...I'M JUST A KID WHO'S FOUR.." sang Caillou

"NO!" screamed Mommy and Daddy in unison

"I mean...we mean go upstairs and change, so we can all eat as a family. I bet your very hungry." said Mommy

"OK!" shouted Caillou

Dumbass ran up the stairs, but as he reached the top he slipped on olive oil and fell down. While he was falling down the stairs, Master Gilbert quickly put many thumb tacks and broken glass in Caillou's path. Caillou suffered many cuts and stab wounds on his way down.

"Oh no...he fell" said Daddy in a monotone voice

Mommy could barely contain her excitement of seeing Caillou get hurt.

"Go up stairs Caillou so you can wash up." said Mommy holding in her laughter

"But Mommy it hurts" replied Caillou

"You'll be fine, there's band-aids in your room" replied Mommy

"Ok" said Caillou in a whiny tone

Caillou went up to his room, after slipping two more times. He first washed up in his bathroom, there was stabbed in the asscheeks by two shuriken thrown by Rosie(who was hiding), with a toxin that slowed down his body movements. Baldie stumbled into his room naked in style that a drunk wanders the street in, there his toys where waiting for him to arrive to start the attack. His favorite toy truck transformed into a mini Optimus Prime and it led his other toy vehicles to also transform. While his stuffed animal toys(armed with weapons) started to attack.

"Hyper Slash!" yelled Teddie the Teddy Bear

Teddie slashed Caillou's ankles. Caillou collasped instantly and couldn't defend himself from the assault. His toy vehicles began firing their laser blasters at Caillou's body. The lasers were burning hot and his flesh began melt. Caillou began to yell in a demonic voice.

"RRRAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!" yelled Caillou

Then he decided to let loose his power.

"_I just a kid who four...each day I grow...I like DESTROYING...I'M CAILLOU" _ sang Caillou in his demonic voice.

Caillou's body glowed with a red aura, he floated in the air on to an upright position, all of his wounds were healed and a violent wind began gusting around him.

"_Now it's my turn to play."_ said Demon Caillou

Everyone of his opponents were blown away by the wind. Caillou then lifted his right arm and at the same time Teddie was lifted into the air. He then began using Force Choke from Star Wars and then spoke in a Darth Vader voice.

"I want cookies" said Darth Caillou

Teddie then exploded into many pieces. All the vehicle toys went into retreat, it was too late Caillou used Sith Lightning to wipe out all the toys. Master Gilbert was watching from afar.

"It seems that the Toyz weren't enough...I must call upon the others." said Gilbert

Fin


End file.
